responses
Chiaaat….CRRACKK!
I’m a member of a martial art organization at school. one day, our organization arranged a martial art demonstrasion for student to persuade them into joining our organization. I was chosen as one of the permormers to perforn some of the martial art movement. during my performance, when I was doing a high kick,suddenly I heard a loud sound, “CRRACKK!!!” Oh my god ! my pants were torn apart at the buttock. Everyone laughed at me. I could only stand there with a blood red face. next thing I knew, I was running toward the toilet. Never again will I perform those movement in front of an audience.
sources: C’NS Magazine
Vol.3 No.21 January – February 2004
Kick My Ass During Flag Ceremony
It happaened when I was still in junior high . that day, august 17, 1995, and I had to be at school before 7 am but I woke up late. Everything was I rush that morning. I skipped breakfast so that I wouldn’t be late at school. I had to perform in the ceremony since I was a member of PASKIBRA. Because I rushed through everything, I didn’t pay attention to what I wore to school. This proved to be an embarrasment for me. During the flag ceremony, almost all student were laughing.i didn’t know that they were laughing at me until one of my teachers told me that instead of wearing a uniform, I wore my home short wich were in the same color as my uniform. What made it worse, it had a “ Kick My Ass”sign written on its butt. I swear that was the day that I won’t ever forget for the rest of my life.
Cn’s magazine vol.3 no.21 january-february 2004
SCORES
When Suzy got home, she told her dad that she got 100 poin in school. Her dad, “ Great! Let’s sit down and tell me more about it”. Suzy ” well, I got a 20 in math, a 30 in science and a 50 in writing!”
sources:CnS magazine vol.8 no.58 august-september 2008
SAFETY FIRST
One day after class, there was a safety drill at my school- a technology vocational school. the instructor showed the importance of wearing safety gear on a building site, such as a helmet, safety shoes, and gloves. he also mentioned that we must always put on our seatbelt in a car. then we all were given chance to try on those safety gadgets.
when the drill was over, my friends and I walked to the car of one of my friends. We always go home together because we live in the same housing complex.
I sat in the front seat, Next to the Driver. I buckled the seatbelt, and I turned my head facing my friends in the back.
“Don’t forget to buckle up, guys! Don’t forget, safety first!” to my surprise, their exploded into laughter.
“Hey, come on guys. You know that that I’m right,” I said to defend myself.
“Yeah, yeah. You’re right. but you don’t have to wear a helmet in a car.!”
My gosh! I forgot to take off the helmet I had beeb wearing. I opened the car door and ran to return the helmet. With a red face, of course.
Ever since, my friends have teased me with the words: safety first
sources: C’NS Magazine
Vol.7 No.12 January-February 2007
Stop Drinking That
when I was Travelling with my classmate, suddenly we felt very Thirsty, and then wa gave a Soft Drink. but when i was drinking i found the taste of the soft drink is so sour.
so Quickly i said to my friends” Stop Drinking That, because this soft Drink is already to expired”
but, i heared a voice Shouting “you fools, this soft drink, expired not this year, but next year”
so i ask to my friends” why the taste of the soft Drink is so sour? ”
so my friends said” the taste of the soft Drink is so sour because this is a New Lime Flavour from this Soft Drink”
and after that i became so shy and also my friends Laught to me…:-)
Source: C’N'S Magazine
Vol.4 No. 30 February-March 2005
Pull, Not Push
A years ago, i visited my aunt in Jakarta. She showed me around and took me shooping at some malls. I was really awestruck by the glamorous malls. While windows-shooping with her, nature called. My aunt showed me the rest room. She didn’t come in, she waited outside. I entered one of the cubicles. When I’d finished, i tried to open the cubicles door. I pushed, pushed, and pushed again. Nothing happened. I started to get panicky. I ttied to push again. Zero, I cried out my auntie’s name several times. I heard her coming, but she sounded panicky, too. I said I couldn’t open the door. Abruptly, in one fling, the door was wide open. I heard people burst into laughter. Not knowing to what happened, I stepped out of the cubicle. Later I found out that I was supposed to pull, not push the door. I wanted the ground to swallow me up.
Source : C’N'S Magazine
Vol. 4 No. 30 February-March 2005
Safety First
One day after class, there was a safety drill at my school – a technology vocational school. The instructor showed the importance of wearing safety gear on a building site, such as a helmet, safety shoes, and gloves. He also mentioned that we must always put on our seatbelt in a car. Then we all were given a chance to try on those safety gadgets.
When the drill was over, my friends and I walked to the car of one of my friends. We always go home together because we live in the same housing complex. I sat in the front seat, next to the driver. I buckled the seatbelt, and I turned my head facing my friends in the back.
“ Don’t forget to buckle up, guys! Don’t forget, safety first!”
to my surprise, their exploded into laughter.
“ Hey, come on, guys. You know that I’m right, “ I said to defend myself.
“ Yeah, yeah. You’re right. But you don’t have to wear a helmet in a car!”
My gosh! I forgot to take off the helmet I had been wearing. I opened the car door and ran to return the helmet. With a red face, of course.
Ever since, my friends have teased me with the words.
Source : C’nS Magazine
Vol. 8 No.61 February-March 2009
The Falling Fruits
Following a big fruit harvest in the area where i used to live, my parents brought home a lot of duku, durian, and rambutan. There were so many of them, we still had bags of fruits even after sharing them with neighbours. Having a date with friends, i decided to bring her some. Carrying a plastic bag full of duku, i got on the bus. I was running late so when i got to my bus stop, i quickly jumped off the bus. As i did so, the plastic bag holding the dukus broke open and the small round fruits rolled all over the street. Silly me, instead of leaving them alone, i went to all the trouble of picking each and every duku off the street. Oncoming cars had to stop and wait for me to collect the dukus. All the passengers were smiling broadly at my stupidity.
RIZKA, PALEMBANG
Sumber : CNS ENGLISH MAGAZINE Vol. 8 No 13
OUT In the Woods
A couple of hunters are out in the woods in the dep south when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps to the operator,”My friend is dead!
What can I do?”
The operator , in a calm and soothing voice,says,” Alright,take it easy. I can help. First,l easy make sure he’s dead.”there is silence, and then a gun shot is heard. The hunter comes back on the line.”Ok.Now what?”
Magazine: C&S
Volume: 6
Nunber: 46
Date: march 2007
PIG STORY
Zelko was know for his arrogance. He thought himself the smartest guy arround and looked down on everyone from the village head to the lowliest farmhand. one day he was walking home dragging behind him a goat he’d bought at the market when he met Dumba, the village idiot. As soon as Dumba spotted Zelko with the goat, he yelled, “hey, what are you doing with that pig?” Zelko started to laugh and said scornfully. “you fool! no wonder they call you the village idiot. This is a goat, not a pig, you Dumbhead!”
Dumba gazed at him in bewilderment and said, “sorry, Zelko, but i wasn’t talking to you. I was talking the goat!”
sumber: Cn’S English Magazine Vol.2 No.11
date : 11 oktober-november 2002
SEEING – EYE DOG
A blind man is walking down the street with his seeing -eye dog one day .They come to a busy intersection and the dog ,ignoring the high volume of traffic zooming bye on the street ,leads the blind man right out into the thick of the traffic .This is followed by the screech of tires and horns blaring as panicked drivers try desperately not to run the pair down .The blind man and the dog finally reach the safety of the sidewalk on the other side of the street and the blind man pulls a cookie out of his coat pocket which he offers to the dog .
A passer by ,having observed the near fatal incident ,can’t control his amazenement and says to the blind man ,”why on earth are you rewarding your dog with a cookie ? He nearly got you killed !”the blind man turns partially in his direction and replies ,”to find out where his head is,so i can kick his ass.”
SOURCE :
MAGAZINE : N’SCHOOL N’ SMART
VOLUME : 2
NUMBER : 11
DATE : II OCTOBER – NOVEMBER 2002
John’Reason
At a shop,John, a six-year-old boy, stood beside his mother who was making a purchase. The shopkeeper told him to help himself to a handful of chocolate. But John Shook his head.
“Why? What’s the matter?” asked the shopkeeper.”Don’t you like chocolate?”
“yes.”replied John.
“Well,go ahead and take some.”
John hesitated. Later the shopkeeper himself put a handful of chocolate in John’ pocket.
When they left the shop, his mother asked, “why didn’t you take the chocolate yourself?”
“Because his hand is bigger than mine,” answered John.
Magazine : CONTACT
Volume: 7
Number: 40
date: NOVEMBER- DECEMBER 1999
Elementary, My Dear Watson
Sherlock Holmes and Dr.Watson go on a camping trip, set up their tent, and fall asleep. Some hours later, Holmes wakes his faithful friend.
“Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see.” Watson replies, “I see millions of stars.”
“What does that tell you?”
Watson ponders for a minute. “Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it’s evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?”
Holmes is silent for a moment, then speaks, “Watson, you idiot, someone has stolen our tent!”
Source : C&S Magazine
Vol. 6 No. 46 March 2007
MASIH KURANG? KLIK DISINI UNTUK CERITA SPOOF YANG LAINNYA
